I was in a very bad mood. My "friend" Mario visited me and pretty much told me I'm a weirdo because I sit around the house all day by myself. I tried to explain to him that I have no choice but to be at home. If I had a car or actually had friends that had their own cars and nothing to do I definitely wouldn't be at home. I honestly only have 3 friends (including Mario) with functioning cars and they don't exactly have time to stop by because they have jobs.

I didn't even bother to point out that although he says he's my friend he hasn't exactly asked me to hang out or go places with him. Guess I'm too weird.

Later on my god-brother Donald and his/our friends Brian and Johnny stopped by to pick up 2 CDs and a DVD I made for them. Later on I get a txt message saying:

"Man looka hear u are letting us down on [these] cds
the trivium don't work and the song that [we] wanted on gnarles barkely cd is not on there"

I always explain to them that I test the CDs and DVDs on what I have to play them on, that being: a karaoke machine, a dvd player, and my computer. The CDs and DVDs don't work in everything. I'll admit I fucked up on the Gnarles Barkley CD. They asked for 1 song specifically but I said I'd go ahead and get them the whole album, but the song they wanted wasn't on that album so yeah, my bad, but Brian (whom I initially thought was Donald) had the balls, the audacity to get an attitude with me about something I gave to them for free... FREE!!! DID NOT PAY FOR IT!!! & I have NEVER asked them to pay for not 1 CD or DVD. They may not always work but I make every disc over again until it works. I even give them another one when the original gets scratched. So, yeah, his attitude pissed me off so I responded with:

"Well excuse the fuck outta me. I made them & I tested them. I'm sorry it's not compatible w/ your shit. If you want better quality and dependability then start paying for it. But don't ever fucking say I let you down."

And it was pretty much a txt msg war from there. At 1 point I was so pissed I started punching my closet door. So I drank to calm myself down. Only sad thing is that it doesn't take much get me drunk. I drank maybe 350ml of Smirnoff Triple Distilled 70 proof vodka. I could barely see or stand, but I was "giddy". Donald text me later to explain that I was "yelling" at Brian and not him but I didn't respond, so he text me again tonight to make sure we're still friends, or so I would guess. I told him I didn't say anything to him cause I would have told them all to fuck off and would have regretted it today. I apologized for what I said last night and said I had "directed my frustration at the wrong person."
He wanted to know who I was really angry with and I told him:

"Every1 that just comes over to use the computer. I don't really mind. It's just annoying when they give all their attention 2 that machine, leave, & I never hear from them again until they need to use the computer. It's like I don't exist aside from that thing."

Since Donald doesn't have a car I can't really get mad at him for not visiting and I told him that. I said:

"I know u try & I know your situation so I don't ask u to visit but u've actually txtd me more in the last wk & a half since I told u I returned 2 religion than u had in the last 2 months. Maybe I'm just paranoid or going stir crazy. Days go by slowly but b4 I know it 3-4 days will pass and I won't have heard from anybody & I always call @ bad times til I just want to give up on trying 2 reach out 2 any1."

I don't really know why I told you all this. I guess I really just want to tell someone. I know I can tell God & he'll listen when no one else will, but sometimes I want to talk to a person. I want to hear or read a response, to know that someone cared enough to listen to what I have to say.